well-known fact that feminine competence in this area will cause your husband to run off with a bubble dancer....I am not, of course, advocating that you become a real weakling, since you will need your strength to lug bags of groceries into the house, tote baskets of laundry around or move furniture when you clean. But since he is at work all day, he doesn't see you do these things....Isn't it fun pulling the wool over his eyes like that? And as a woman, that's the only fun you're entitled to.

Enumerate His Good Points: All too often a wife becomes one of those dreadful nattering nabobs of negativism one hears so much about. While I am not suggesting that your husband is not perfect in every way, it is possible that because of your upbringing and certain Communist-inspired things you hear on television, you may at times question some of his activities. Drive such negative thoughts from your mind and instead concentrate on his positive side.

For instance, if your husband is embezzling large sums of money from his employer, applaud him for his ingenuity and the lengths to which he goes to bring in more money. If he is keeping a mistress on the side, congratulate him on his virility and manly sex drive. If his hobby is beating little bunnies with a club, extol him for his conservation efforts in keeping down the population of such vermin and pests. See how easy it is?...

Be the Complete Sexpot: Now we come to the good part. SEX....Concentrate on ways to be as perky and as baby-doll cute as possible, for only that all-girl personality of yours will complement perfectly your husband's big, burly he-man, chest-pounding masculinity. Let him know you're ready for sex at all times....

There is a school of thought that holds that you should greet hubby at the door wearing suggestive, sexy costumes. I say, why make him wait until he gets home? Meet him at the bus stop in one of your daring get-ups. One time I popped out of the bushes just as my husband's bus was pulling up to his stop. I was wearing nothing but a bespangled harp-string and a Richard Nixon mask. I will never forget the look of amazement on his face as I confronted him, twirling a long gold chain, and screamed: "Are you ready for it, Big Boy? Your hot mama wants her big banana now!"....

Yes, attaining Fascinating Totalhood will improve your marriage to the point where you won't recognize it anymore. Even your husband won't recognize you after you've become the paragon of wifely perfection. I know. It worked in my marriage. Now my husband regards me as a complete mystery. (Contributed by Agnes Hooper, May, 1976)

Abortion (continued from page 11)

tions, and the possibility of a permanent amendment restricting funds looms on the horizon.... Given [the] serious erosion of abortion rights, a celebration is premature.

The right to abortion has increasingly become a question of access to abortion. It is minority people who disproportionately need aid for abortion and other survival services. For women with money and time, abortions may have become more of a hassle to get, but they are still readily available.... If we are ever to ensure access to abortion and broaden reproductive rights for all women, we must begin from the perspective of those hit first and worst.

January 22, 1983 is a time for all women to reflect on where we have come and where we need to go from here...

Laugher Liberates!

1.

A Woman called Jezebel Price

Thought the plural of spouse must be spice. She said: Moods of satiety

Are eased by variety,

So more than one man would be nice.

.2.

A man with a leer in his glance

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Said: "Chick, may I claim the next dance?" Said she: "You old rooster, You need to be goosed, Sir," And planted her toe in his pants.

3.

He said, "Girlie, I'll give you my name, You may share in my status and fame." She said, "Boy, keep your label; I'm happily able

With my talents, to play my own game.

4.

A man who was hardly well bred Once said to his mate while in bed, "You are so good right here, What other career

Could you happily follow instead?"

13

-Elsa Gidlow

Concerning Deviation

Life in America is great

If you don't deviate. You 1 the highway We must go straight From here to there

From him to her

On the job, at play, in school This is the no nonsense rule: Don't deviate.

The engineers are down on curves,

What if it soothes the nerves

To meander now and then?

In love, in sex,

In politics

Take the straight economy route

From here to there

From him to her.

Don't deviate.

The winding ways may be more pleasant

But out of keeping with our present So leave them to the hick and peasant: Be straight be square.

A Decade of Milestones (continued from page 9)

April, 1981/ Conference for Radical Women

The Cleveland women's community has blossomed and grown since the first Cleveland Radical Feminist/Lesbian Conference in November 1975. In the five years of our collective "coming of age," the community has created and supported such institutions as Oven Productions, the Women's Growth Cooperative, the Three of Cups and a women's coffeehouse.

Despite our achievements, we are still faced with the issues of survival of our community. Our need for clear analysis and planning is paramount, particularly in view of the conservative political mood of the city and country. For this reason, a group of area women is planning another Conference for Radical Women, to be held May 15-17....Perhaps one of the most important aspects of our planning is sharing the vision of a woman-defined future for ourselves and the next generation.

April, 1981 / Templum House for Women

Templum House is a crisis shelter for battered and homeless woman and their children located in Cleveland. Begun by Bernadette Boyce, a social worker, in October of 1978, it operated through March of 1980 when it was forced to close due to lack of funds. The shelter reopened in July, 1980....Although a high percentage (70-80 percent) of the women served by Templum House come from situations of domestic violence, this particular shelter is a unique community resource in that it accepts women and their children who are homeless for any reason, including those who are stranded, evicted, or discharged from mental or general hospitals....

May, 1981/ Take Back the Night

In each of the last two years, Cleveland women have taken to the streets en masse one night in August to protest violence against women. Last year's Cleveland Women Take Back the Night march resulted in, among other things, the formation of an cngoing committee. This year the committee has worked primarily for better security for women on

-Elsa Gidlow

the RTA system. The Take Back the Night committee has now broadened its focus to include pornography, images of women in advertising, and a possible third annual TBN march.

June, 1982/ Women's Building Fund

At the feminist conference held in May 1981, one of the primary needs of the women's community was identified as being a women's building....In response to this need, the Women's Building Fund is being started. The purpose of the Fund is to raise and administer funds to acquire space in the Cleveland Heights area for the women's organizations that operate in this area. Such groups are Oven Productions, The Women's Growth Cooperative, What She Wants, The Women's Coffeehouse, and others....

April-May, 1983/What She Wants/Page 13

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